Children's Lullaby - (L/J songfic)
by Juliette
Summary: A L/J songfic based on Vertical Horizon's 'Children's Lullaby' I'm reposting due to errors w/ ff.n My deepest appologies. Please review again!


_A/N: Ok, this will be short. Thanks so much to Tinkerbell and (METMA) Mandy for beta reading for me. You guys helped sooooooo much! To everyone else: This is a purely L/J song fic based on Vertical Horizon's Children's Lullaby. Enjoy and try not to cry too much. ~[Juliette][1]_

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Children's Lullaby

  


_Little girl was down by the waterside_   
_The sun so hot and the roses so red where she lie_   
_As little boys sit and watch as she twirls all around_   
_Sunny smiles not a raincloud could bring that girl down_   
_But now...._   


"C'mon, go do it!" 

"Shhh, she'll hear you, Padfoot!" James said, eyes bulging. 

"Why are we here?" whines the scrawny one, Peter. 

"So Prongs can ask Lily to the Spring Dance, idiot!" exclaims Sirius. 

"Just look at her…!" James sighs. 

"Er… Prongs? Hoy! You there, Prongs?" Remus asks, waving his hand in front of James' face. 

"He's in _la-la_ land," Peter informs them pompously. 

"No, he's in love," corrects Sirius. 

"Am not!" James shouts back, a bit too loud. 

_"James?"_ Lily looks around the sandy bank. She stops, narrows her eyes and puts her hands over her hips. "James Potter, if you're hiding in those bushes, I _will_ find you!" 

"AH! Attack of the Mutant Lily! Quick, go out there, Prongs!" hisses Sirius. 

"No!" James hurriedly whispers back. 

Not willing to take no as an answer, Sirius gives James a shove and he, Remus and Peter quickly retreat. _"Sirius…"_ he says, gritting his teeth nervously. 

_What's behind those big brown eyes_   
_Do you dream at night_   
_Without your lullaby_

"James Potter!" Lily shrieks, pulling the branches away from the bush. "How long have you been _spying_ on me?" 

"Erm… hi, Lily!" James says, standing up. Maybe it was because Lily Evans, the most beautiful girl in the world, was standing in front of him, or because he had been crouching in the same position for fifteen minutes, but James' legs were weak and shaky. 

Arms crossed over her chest, Lily scolds him. "What are you doing here?" she yells. "Were you planning on playing a hoax on me, Potter? Because I'm really laughing…_ HAHA!_" 

"Get a grip!" James says, finally finding his voice. He has never seen such a beautiful, yet cross girl before. Lily's normally pale cheeks redden and she tightly clenches her fits at her sides. 

Lily blinks at James' request. "Me… get a grip? This coming from James Potter… I'm not the one who was playing spy from behind a bush! Tell me what you want, or leave me alone!" 

"I-i, er, I wanted to ask you something, Lily," James mumbles. 

"What was that?" Lily asks, lowering her voice dangerously, expecting an insult or retort. 

"Go to the dance with me?" James' says, quicker than Lily can fully understand. 

"Did you just ask _me_ to the dance?" Lily asks, dumbfound. James nods stupidly. She looks up into his face. Lily sees the boy who dyed her hair purple in their third year; the boy who could top her in Transfiguration, but couldn't keep his own hair combed straight. 

_"…Well?"_ asks James. 

Lily continues to stare into James' brown eyes, trying to understand him. Could this be the same James Potter who transfigured her cat into a huge, hairy tarantula less then a month ago, as a joke? Could he be the same James Potter, co-Gryffindor, sixth year prefect, _rouge?_ Now it was Lily's turn to sputter. "Um, er… Okay, James." 

"Really?!" James shouted. Lily nodded, trying hard to ignore the cheering bushes nearby.   


_Little boy sits alone as he sings in the dark_   
_Wondering if his own dreams had pulled them apart_   
_He sings a song of tomorrow he never can see_   
_Mostly sings of a lost little girl's memory_   
_And Now..._   


"Lily, _dearie…_" 

"James, you _can't_ play Quidditch for a living!" 

"And why not?" protests James. 

"I'll tell you why not, James Potter. Ever time you get on that filthy broomstick, I have a heart attach… _don't you dare try to interrupt me!_ When are you going to grow up? Don't you ever think of _our_ future? 

"What do _you_ want me to do, Lily Evans?" James shouts. 

"I don't want you to do anything! Forget it… forget everything! I don't love you… just forget you!" Lily blinked furiously, trying to hold off the hot tears burning in her eyes. She hadn't meant a word of what she'd said. She _did_ love James. 

"Just tell me Lily! Do you want me to work at the ministry? You want me to fight Voldemort? You know…" he says, imitating Lily's voice…_ "Do it for our children, James."_ Lily felt the quick rush of blood filling her cheeks. 

"No! Forget you, James Potter! I don't care if Voldemort curses you to shreds… who cares? 

"I care!" James shouted. "I thought I loved you, Lily… I guess it was just some charm you put on me!" 

_"Charm?_ Ha! You just wish you were as good as me in charms, James Potter. I made no such spell and you know it. Don't you try and take anything you said back, either!" 

"Don't worry, I'm not!" 

Lily gave out a pitiful sob and began to cry freely. She wanted to slap James hard across the face and hug him all at the same time. It didn't make sense anymore… _nothing made sense anymore._   


_As his dreams go flashing by_   
_He begins to hear_   
_A lonely lullaby_   


_The last full moon before graduation._ Sirius paces the dorm, reviewing the upcoming night's plans. James stares, and doesn't listen to a word he says. _"Prongs?"_

"He had a fight with Lily," pipes Peter, trying to be helpful. 

"Shut-up, Wormtail!" Sirius snaps, knowing very well _why_ James isn't listening. 

"She was right," says James sadly. 

"Who was right, Prongs?" asks Sirius, knowing the answer. 

_"Lily…"_

"Of course she was right! She's such a know-it-all, perfectionist!" Peter says. 

"You're _really_ not helping, Wormtail!" Sirius shouts. 

"I was only trying to make James feel better… _geez, _Sirius!" 

James ignores them both. "She was right," he repeats. "I _can't_ play Quidditch for a living. I do have to fight Voldemort for _our_ childrens' sakes." 

_"Children?"_ pipes Peter, dumfounded. 

"Oooh, bad Jamesie! Does Lily know?" Sirius, always trying to lighten the mood, says. 

"I'm sorry, Padfoot, Wormtail… I have to go see Lily." James says, pulling himself off his four-poster. 

_"Now?"_ What about Moony… our plans?" asks a very devastated Sirius. 

"I'll meet up with you in a little while, okay?" Reluctantly, they nod.   


James pauses outside the seventh year, girls' dorm. He hears the unmistakable sound of Lily sobbing and singing. Her soft, buttery voice melts his heart. Slowly, James turns the creaking knob…   


_Well now_   
_We used to sing_   
_And we used to cry_   
_Through everything_   
_In our children's lullaby_   


_Years later... _ "James, I'm going to put Harry to bed," announces Lily. She stands and stretches her aching back, softly humming a lullaby to the sleeping child in her arms. James nods, half-listening, his nose stuffed in a Quidditch magazine. It was getting late, and he would head up to bed once Lily had safely tucked Harry in. 

Watching Lily cradling Harry renewed James' desire to protect his family. To James, Lily is truly the most beautiful woman; her long, wavy, deep red hair streamed behind her and green eyes sparkled. Harry, as Sirius liked to joke, was a mini James. He had the same messy, unmanageable black hair and bad vision as his father. His eyes, though, were his mother's. 

Lily disappeared into the next room with the baby; the same baby which Lord Voldemort, the darkest Wizard of their time, wanted dead. It frightened James to death that someone more powerful than him wanted Harry's life; he tried to console himself. But Peter would never tell…_would he?_   


_Little girl on the street with nobody around_   
_Has her head in the air dirty feet on the ground_   
_She shuts her eyes and she wonders is this a mistake_   
_Now she's gone from the warmth of her little boy days_   
_And still..._   


Lily lies awake, face streaked with tears. She stares out the high tower window at the moon, crying as softly as possible. Between sobs, she chokes out: 

_ "I see the moon, the moon sees me_   
_ The moon sees somebody I want to see_   
_ God bless the moon and God bless me_   
_ And God bless the somebody I want to see.___

_ It seems to me that God above_   
_ Created you for me to love_   
_ He picked you out from all the rest_   
_ To be the one that I loved best.___

_ I had a heart 'twas true and good_   
_ But now it's gone from me to you_   
_ Take care of it as I have done_   
_ Cause you have two and I have none."_

"Lil, that you?" called a hesitant voice. 

"Yes," cries Lily. 

"Go to sleep, Lil. James will apologize in the morning, I'll put ten galleons on it!" 

Lily looked at her roommate's bed. The curtains were drawn around the four-poster. "But I don't have ten galleons," laughs Lily, temporarily forgetting that she was supposed to be crying. When her friend did not answer, Lily realized that she had fallen back asleep.   


_She believes that she'll get by_   
_On her own without_   
_Her little boy's lullaby_   


James dozes in his comfy armchair by the fire in their cozy home called _Godric's Hollow_. Harry's whales can be heard from the nursery. 

"James, a little help, dear?" cries Lily across the house. 

"Lil, sing him the _dream fairy,_" shouts James. He settles back into the chair and strains hard to hear what is, even though he is over twenty years old, his favorite lullaby. 

_ "A little fairy comes at night,_   
_ Her eyes are blue, her hair is brown,_   
_ With silver spots upon her wings,_   
_ And from the moon she flutters down.___

_ She has a little silver wand,_   
_ And when a good child goes to bed,_   
_ She waves her hand from right to left,_   
_ And makes a circle round its head.___

_ And then it dreams of pleasant things,_   
_ Of fountains filled with fairy fish,_   
_ And trees that bear delicious fruit,_   
_ And bow their branches at a wish."_

As Lily completed the song, she pulled out her wand and sent silvery sparks around Harry's crib. He reaches up and tried to grab them, but as his tiny fingers touch the silvery sparks, they disappeared. After repeatedly doing this, the baby yawned and his large sea-green eyes close.   


_Little boy prays to God to answer his song_   
_To hold her hand when everyone else's are gone_   
_Time goes by and the wounds slowly turn into scars_   
_So he makes his final wish on the midnight stars_   
_And he screams..._   


A sharp bang alarms James in his armchair. Eyes wide, staring at the door, he shouts: 

_"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off--"___

_"James, I can't just--"___

_"You have to! Now go!"___

_"James... if it were just us..."___

_"I know, Lily. I know."_

The door bursts open and James holds his wand out in front of him. _"Stay away from my family,"_ he shouts. 

_"AVADA KEDAVRA!"_

His final thoughts are of Lily and Harry. _They are okay… Lily apparated to safety… they are okay… please God, let them be okay!_   


_Little girl won't you hear my cry_   
_Won't you come back home_   
_To your lover's lullaby_   


A single tear runs down her cheek as the lethal curse echoes throughout the house. Holding Harry close to her chest, Lily knows deep down who will be next. The loud explosion wakes Harry and he begins to cry. Fighting back the tears, Lily rocks her child in her arms and closes her eyes. She recalls her life...   


"Lily, don't cry," whispers James. He emerges from the shadowy dorm entrance. Her face is illuminated by the moonlight; her green eyes and cheeks doused with tears. 

Unable to speak, Lily looks away and continues to cry. James sits down beside her and gently wipes the tears from her eyes with his fingers. Cradling her in his arms, James quietly sings, his voice rich with emotion, 

_"I see the moon_   
_ The moon sees me_   
_ Under the shade of the old oak tree_   
_ Please let the light that shines on me_   
_ Shine on the one I love.___

_ Over the mountains_   
_ Over the sea_   
_ Back where my heart is longing to be_   
_ Please let the light that shines on me_   
_ Shine on the one I love."_

"That's beautiful," whispers Lily. James nods and they embrace. 

"I love you, Lil, and you were right." James states as a simple apology, this time without a single gurgled word. 

"I wasn't completely right… _but get out of here before I take off five points from Gryffindor!_" she says sternly. 

"Yes, Professor McGonagall," James chuckles, rolling his eyes. Lily narrows her drying eyes, but before she can say a word in her defense, James kisses her rosy lips. "Goodnight," he whispers as they pull away.   


Later, Lily lays awake looking out the window. Far below, the moonlight reveals a beautiful stag wandering the grounds. It seemed to be staring up at her every so often. _But… how could that be?_

* * * 

Lily scrounged her face to keep her eyes shut; trying in vane to hold on the perfect image of James. _No! James is dead._ When all was lost, James had always been there. _James is gone!_ Lily held Harry as tight as she could to her bosom; she knew what she had to do. She was going to sacrifice herself for her child; she was going to sacrifice herself for the entire Wizarding World. Voldemort was going to fall…   


_Little girl down by the waterside_   
_Goodbye_   


_"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"___

_"Stand aside, you silly girl… stand aside, now…"___

_"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead—"___

_Not Harry! Please… have mercy… have mercy…"___

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Disclaimer: Children's Lulaby belongs to Vertical Horizon and the copyright: Song: © Lucky Skunk music. J.K. Rowling owns all HP characters and themes. No one knows who wrote the moon lullaby, but there are about 100 versions and I got those two online. I know another really sweet version, if anyone cares to hear it…   
  
  


   [1]: http://www.geocities.com/jbnyc85/



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